


A Waking Nightmare

by BelleoftheBookstore



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Ableist Language, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Nightmares, Panic Attacks, Self-Esteem Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-01
Updated: 2020-01-01
Packaged: 2021-02-27 09:48:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,156
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22065022
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BelleoftheBookstore/pseuds/BelleoftheBookstore
Summary: Virgil had slowly gotten into the habit (suggested by the others so he could maybe sleep better) of going into Roman's room when he has really bad nightmares. However, this habit makes his nightmares more vivid over time, leading to interesting side effects...
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders
Comments: 5
Kudos: 96





	A Waking Nightmare

**Author's Note:**

> I think I tagged all of the triggers, but please let me know if I missed anything. Stay safe guys, gals, and non-binary pals. <3

The first thing Roman heard that night that startled him was his own voice. However, he wasn't talking... He stayed perfectly still and pretended to be asleep. Maybe Deceit is up to his old tricks again. However, the things his “voice” was saying were harsh, even for Deceit. 

“Honestly, I don’t even know why we accepted you in the first place. All you do is cause problems for us. Especially me. How can I pursue Thomas’ dreams when you are constantly stopping me? It’s not even like your fears are justified. You just hold all of us back.”  
Roman realized with a shiver that it definitely wasn’t Deceit, but he needed to open his eyes to see if his theory was correct. He opened them and saw semi-translucent versions of all of the sides, dark and light. They seemed to be taking turns insulting the translucent version of Virgil. The real Virgil was still asleep, but was tossing and turning.   
“I tried my hardest to be nice to you, but even I have my limits.” A very out of character Patton said while Roman was putting the pieces together. You make my job harder. I have a hard enough time convincing Thomas to do the right thing without you second guessing me all the time.”  
“It would be illogical of me to disagree. Your cognitive distortions make it harder for me to do my job. The smartest thing to do would be to treat you like any other disease and get rid of you.” 

Roman’s blood was boiling. He couldn’t listen to this anymore. He touched the apparition of Logan and realized that it was solid. This was a lot worse than he thought.  
The presence of another side diverted the apparitions’ attention.   
“God, why can’t you just admit that you really hate yourself and drop the act? It would be better to Thomas if both sides of Thomas’ creativity worked properly. Creativity is a huge part of his self-esteem after all…” It was super bizarre to hear his deepest fears verbalized in his own voice.   
“Does the end product really justify the dangerous decisions you have made?” “Virgil” said with a sneer.  
“Not to mention the stupid ones.” “Logan” added.  
“You’re so full of yourself. Did you ever consider the emotional impact that’s going to have on Thomas when he realizes the extent of your lies? The mess I’ll have to clean up…” “Patton’s” words stung the most. And on and on it went, until he eventually realized. The embodiment of Thomas’ anxiety had been spending a lot of time in the part of his brain where imagination flourished. The only way they might be able to stop it would be for them to both get out of Roman’s room as quickly as possible. 

The anxious side was still asleep and distressed. The sudden appearance of another side’s fears probably didn’t help matters. Roman ran and picked up the sleeping Virgil bridal style. The apparitions continued to shout scary things at him to prevent their banishment to the nightmare realm once they were out of the room. The only way Roman could block them out was by repeating the mantra that the other sides had come up for him after his breakdown in Logan’s room last week.   
"I can make mistakes. Mistakes are how we learn. I am enough. I am loved."

And even then, it took a lot of strength to carry Virgil across the room, leave, and close the door. He sat against the hallway, panting for a minute as Virgil started to stir on the carpeted floor. Roman was shocked at the speed with Virgil sat up. He was breathing rapidly, too rapidly. Roman inched himself closer to the anxious side to show support, but not close enough to potentially make him more anxious.   
Virgil was staring at Roman with an intensity that he wasn’t used to. “I’m sorry. I took a good thing and ruined it.” His nails were pressing against his forearms like daggers. “I always do this.” Acting on instinct, Roman took Virgil’s hands in his to stop him from hurting himself. He squeezed them in response, almost like an anchor as the waves rushed in.   
“You didn’t do anything wrong.” The creative side replied softly. “I made a mistake. I shouldn’t have had you stay in that room for that long. It makes sense that all of the rooms specific to one side would eventually affect any other side present. I’m sure if I ever had Patton or Logan in my room for that long, a similar thing would happen. Patton’s emotions would probably cause a rainstorm or something eventually… The guy keeps so much inside. And Logan’s brainstorm would probably come to life all Sherlock style… It would be interesting, but scary… My point is that it’s not your fault.”

“Maybe…” Virgil didn’t sound completely convinced. “Plenty of other things are my fault though…”   
“What do you mean, Hot Topic?”  
“I keep Thomas from doing anything fun, I don’t make any sense, and I just create problems for everyone else…”  
“Falsehood.” The fanciful side said, stealing a line from Logan. “You keep Thomas safe. Sure, you can go a little bit overboard at times, but we can reign you in, just like when Logan’s being too much of a perfectionist. You have a purpose. Sometimes it clashes with the situation, but you have friends to help you make sense of it, just like I can turn to Patton if I’m being too hard on myself. And you do so much more than you give yourself credit for. You help Thomas have humility, empathy, caution, and more. Occasionally, you react in extremes to a situation, but so do the rest of us at times and we would never cast any of them out. Sometimes I act conceited, Patton is depressed, or Logan is angry, but you would never reject any of us. So why would we do the same to you now?”

“But how do I know that you’re just lying to get me to shut up?”  
“Because I’m not Deceit, first of all. And second of all, I don’t think you should shut up, because talking about these things helps. Keeping them all inside makes you want to explode and we don’t need an exploding storm cloud. We need you, all of you. I-”  
He stopped short of saying the words, but Virgil understood. He instead gave a surprise hug to Roman. The words didn’t need to be said.  
\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
After this, Roman got to work on a project with the others so the pairs had a place they could hang out without being corrupted. Logan and Patton’s ended up looking like a cross between a bedroom, a study, and a therapist’s office. Roman and Virgil’s looked like the love suite of an emo and a Broadway star. It helped Thomas’ mental health quite a bit over time.

**Author's Note:**

> Well, I wanted to get out one more fanfic before the decade ends in my timezone lol. This is meant to be a companion to Depersonalization and thus takes place at around the same time (hence the room compromise). I might follow up with a fic featuring Emile and Remy at some point even though they are from different projects, because I love the characters and I know others do too. I also might write something about the dark sides soon since I have theories that others might find interesting regarding them. However, I start school again pretty soon and will be pretty busy with other stuff. But stay tuned, there will definitely be more weirdness coming from me eventually because I have a lot of ideas. Happy New Year everyone!


End file.
